Work, Job & Career

Hello, how are you doing? I really hope you are well, go and grab your cup of coffee or tea sit down and relax for 10 minutes while you have a read of this week’s blog.  

Right, sat down and ready? Here we go…..

I wanted to write about work this week, the topic which seems to be on everyone’s mind especially mine. 

As many of you are know I work for a large insurance company, dealing with household claims. Now this job, I need to spend a large amount of my time on the phone to customers and suppliers, now with my speech being the way it is, it is hard to talk to someone face to face sometimes. I mean don’t get me wrong my speech has come a very long way since my incident in May but I feel there is still dome improvement to be made. 

I have a meeting with my speech therapist tomorrow to discuss my progress so far and what the next steps will be. This will then be fed into my MDT (multi-disciplinary team) meeting, so we are all working towards one common goal. 

My large goal is to get back to work, now I would love to get back to work full time, but I can’t help but feel that this may be either a long way off or maybe not possible at all. I know that I will return to work on a phase return because I have been out for so long. All I want to know is when that will be. 

For me I have to take into count a lot of different factors when it comes to work, I need to be able to climb stairs without any hesitation, be able to talk to someone, or at least so they can understand me, need to be able to sit at a desk for a period of time, and deal with not being so dam tired all the time, all these as well as remembering when to take my tablet’s, having something to eat, being able to get to the toilet and back with no problems. Then the big one, dealing with others at work, being able to sit in a office full off other people and them all on the phones and tapping away at the keyboard, the noise of all that, and then everyone asking the dreaded questions “oh hey Matthew, haven’t seen you in a while, where a have you been” or the “Hello, how are you? Everything okay?” Now I know this is all just people trying to be nice, or not really knowing what to say so they just come out with the first thing that comes to their heads. 

I love my job and really can’t wait to get stuck back in, but I can’t help but feel that I am sinking into this black hole of no return, I don’t want to become that person, who doesn’t see anyone, that just stays at home and doesn’t do any work. I have been off work since 10th May, which is 20 weeks, 144 days, so long far too long, I need to get my body sorted and get back in there. 

There are soo many people out there who are happy to stay at home and not work, and I get that, for some it is the best thing to do, but for me? This is not the answer, I need to fight this, I need to look up and see the light, and think….I will overcome this, I will reach the levels I want to reach, FND will not beat me. 

I really need to sit with myself and have a word, if any of you out there have any words of inspiration, now is the time to give me it! I am soo in need of a really good pick me up! I help others everyday with everything that is going on around them, I just need to take some of my own advice and run with it, but the only place I feel I am running right now is right back into the hole of no return!

Please Help!


6 thoughts on “Work, Job & Career

  1. Hi Mathew, it’s great you want to get back to work, but just remember to take it at a pace only you know you can handle. I can’t remember how many times I crashed into my own ceiling of capabilities, to then feel so down that I couldn’t carry on with the next day , week or month. So YES get stuck in! Just gently stuck in! Wishing you all the best for your personal and work future. Sean

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You will not go in a black hole of no return, you are strong and this experience will make you stronger. You are helping others writing your blog, using your time keeping your mind active, typing and thinking of the words to say which in turn provides therapy to you getting all those feelings out there. Sharing is good for you and all those around you in the real and virtual world.
    Don’t forget to explore all options regarding work return.
    Can you do some computer processing work from home at first, writing emails, letters or system changes.
    Keep your options open as your employer will do their utmost to get you back in some shape or form and tailor make it to your capabilities.
    You have made the most amazing progress against all the odds and you need to look back over your blogs and take in the positives, remind yourself all the amazing goals you have reached and exceeded.
    Your not just any Matthew you are Super Matthew Newsham and don’t you forget it.
    Auntie D

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Matthew I started to follow your blog in June ,when my granddaughter Chloe 23 was diagnosed with FND.
    After 5 weeks in hospital, thinking stroke, MS, then told FND, I had never heard of this illness.
    I googled and came across your blog, I would just like to thank you for your honesty, for your positivity, for your relentless striving to battle this illness.
    You give hope and information to people like yourself who have FND, and to family members like me.
    It might be an uphill struggle at the moment to get back to work, especially with all your symptoms, but who knows what the future holds, and how things might improve.
    Just keep strong, keep doing what your doing, your words mean so much too so many.
    Thank you x

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Choose something you really enjoy doing, no matter how small and run with it….. one small step will lead to another. As a very famous astronaut once said one small step for man …….. x


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